Life with a toddler is a whirlwind. One minute, you’re marveling at how quickly they’re growing, and the next, you’re trying to pry a crayon out of their little hands before they add a mural to your living room wall. Between snack times, diaper changes, and the never-ending quest to get them to sleep, it’s easy to put our relationship on the back burner. But as parents, we’ve learned that making time for each other isn’t just a luxury—it’s a necessity.
When we first became parents, we threw ourselves into our new roles wholeheartedly, and in doing so, we nearly lost sight of the foundation of our family: our relationship. We spent so much time being “Mom” and “Dad” that we forgot to be “us.” That realization was a wake-up call. Our mental health and the strength of our partnership needed nurturing just as much as our child did. So, we made a conscious decision to carve out time for ourselves as a couple every week—no guilt, no excuses.
Here’s how we manage to sneak in quality time together, even with a toddler ruling our household.
1. Redefining Date Night
Before becoming parents, date nights meant dressing up, heading out for a leisurely dinner, and maybe even catching a late movie. Post-toddler, that scenario felt laughable—who has the energy? Instead of abandoning date nights altogether, we redefined what they looked like.
Sometimes, it’s as simple as lighting a candle and having dessert together after bedtime. Other times, it’s ordering takeout and watching our favorite show snuggled up on the couch. The key is to make these moments intentional. Phones go on silent, and the focus is on each other, not the pile of laundry sitting in the corner.
2. Accepting Help Without Guilt
For a long time, we resisted asking for help. We felt like we should be able to handle everything on our own. But the truth is, accepting help doesn’t mean we love our child any less—it means we’re human.
We now make it a point to schedule a babysitter or ask a family member to watch our little one for an hour or two. Even if it’s just a quick coffee date or a walk around the block, those moments remind us that we’re more than just parents—we’re partners.
3. Turning Everyday Moments Into “Us Time”
Finding time for each other doesn’t always have to mean carving out grand gestures. We’ve learned to make use of the time we already have.
- Cooking dinner together while our toddler plays nearby? That’s a mini date.
- Holding hands while pushing the stroller? That’s a connection.
- Sharing a quick hug or kiss in the chaos of the day? That’s a reminder that we’re in this together.
By being present in these small moments, we stay connected even when life is hectic.
4. Prioritizing Communication
When you have a toddler, some days feel like a blur of diapers, tantrums, and Paw Patrol marathons. It’s easy to go from sunrise to bedtime without having a real conversation beyond, “Did you remember to buy more wipes?”
We’ve started making a habit of checking in with each other daily. Even if it’s just five minutes before bed, we ask:
- How are you feeling today?
- What’s something that made you happy?
- Is there anything on your mind that we need to talk about?
These check-ins keep us emotionally connected and prevent resentment from building up.
5. Letting Go of Perfection
For a long time, we thought if we couldn’t do things exactly how we used to—fancy dates, weekend getaways, or spontaneous plans—then it wasn’t worth trying. But we’ve learned that perfection is overrated.
Our time together isn’t always Instagram-worthy. Sometimes, we’re just exhausted, laughing at the ridiculous things our toddler does, or sitting in comfortable silence. And that’s okay. What matters is that we show up for each other.
6. Remembering That a Happy Couple = A Happy Family
It’s easy to feel guilty for taking time away from our child to focus on each other. But the truth is, when we take care of our relationship, we’re better parents. Our child sees a loving, supportive partnership, which sets the foundation for their own future relationships.
By making “us time” a priority, we’re showing our little one that love doesn’t stop after kids—it evolves, grows, and becomes even more beautiful.
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Parenting a toddler is exhausting, beautiful, chaotic, and rewarding—all at once. But through it all, we’ve learned that keeping our relationship strong isn’t just something we “hope” to do—it’s something we actively work on.
If you’re a couple with a toddler, take this as your reminder: your relationship deserves time and attention, too. It won’t always be easy, but it will always be worth it. So schedule that date night (even if it’s just on your couch), steal those small moments, and most of all, give yourselves grace.
Because at the end of the day, the best gift we can give our child is a strong, loving partnership.
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