Ms. Simmons dives bravely and confidently into the Good Girl/Bad Girl dichotomy presented and acted out by our daughters (and ourselves) throughout life.
The author states, “Our culture is teaching girls to embrace a version of self-hood that sharply curtails their power and potential. In particular, the pressure to be “good” – unerringly nice, polite, modest and selfless – diminishes girl’s authenticity and personal authority.”
Not a diva of self help books, I have to congratulate Rachel Simmons. I have no daughters – only granddaughters – and this book compelled me to listen up and learn with every well written chapter and the workbook exercises that included helpful possible answers to assist in helping parents work through their own issues of Good Mom/Bad Mom syndrome. I related completely – at 61, I am still trying to authenticate myself in all of my relationships and the book taught me quite a bit. I am still learning to hear that inner voice that says – be genuine – tell the truth – don’t make nice; i.e., practice assertiveness and authenticity. I still tell those little lies: no, I don’t need help, I am Superwoman. No, I would LOVE to go to the movies (when I would rather drop dead from acid in the face); yes, I will be happy to go 100 miles out of my way to get you some Firewater flavored Ice Cream at the 7/11 two states over – yikes! Simmons discusses the common habit in girls – and women’s – relationships; that need to triangulate. I complain about Person A to Person B instead of just going to Person A directly and relating my complaint. This diffuses, confuses and STOPS communication, as well as starting an entire new conflict with another set of entire NEW conflicts. Simmons discusses how we bring these traits into the workplace, mistakenly treating peers as our best friends, taking on responsibilities that are not ours, and diluting the time we need to do OUR work efficiently – all in order to be the Nice Girl. Girls need to experience their own power, speak up and take risks.
One of the best sections of the book defines girls and athletics and how girls become their own worst enemies; how they become their mistakes which disallows them to move on quickly and press on to win.
A plethora of information, The Curse of the Good Girl should become a textbook in our classes. In intelligent, defined prose, Simmons not only gets to the core of these issues, she writes beautifully.
A comprehensive and well done book, The Curse of the Good Girl will remain in my reference library. Every single page popped out at me, wise and daring me to be the person that I am. Invaluable, this is one book that both daughters and parents should read and apply. Fantastic job, Rachel Simmons.
The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence is available at Amazon.com and lots of other great book sellers.
Ratings are based on a 5-star scale:
Review by Broad “A” – Ava
We received a copy of this title for our book review. All opinions are strictly our own.
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