I am proud of taking care of myself and one of those things that were hard to do was to finally get off of Zoosk entirely. First of all, I seemed to meeting lots of men who had lots of narcissistic traits. Secondly, it was overwhelming to get so many messages per day. Third it was addictive. And fourth, for me, the negatives were larger than the positives.
That does not mean to say that I will not try online dating at a later time. But for very sensitive people like I am it is more challenging. Also, my parameters were “advanced degree” and many of those with an advanced degree also had a large ego, at least the ones I met both online and for coffee. I did research everyone online and except for one person, everyone had been truthful as far as their profiles. However, in my profile I had “seeking a man with empathy, compassion and kindness” and none of the people who contacted me within a 50 mile distance had those qualities (of the ones I texted or met). I did cancel sometimes because I discovered something online I did not like: one very charming professor had alarming student reviews, saying that his temper was off the charts, and that was a cancel for me.
Now understand that I was only online for two months and that I did a lot of texting and research. I talked by phone to see if the men I talked to had any interest in my life: most of them did not they talked about their lives and wants and needs; so I kept talking until I figured out that empathy was not one of their strong suits. Also, I wanted a long term relationship, and some of the men I spoke with on a barely know basis were sexting almost immediately and that is not a good sign to me, although some women might like that. I didn’t. I also did not play the “games” that I usually have played when seeking men: not flirting, total honesty upfront, and reality seeking.
Now this sounds very negative but it was not. There are lots and lots of dating sites and it takes time to find a match. I was very careful as I considered what I did not want versus what I did want and found it difficult to say no to so many people; and when I said no it was not heard. So ladies and gents please don’t waste time answering posts if you are not interested; even saying that you are not interested and hitting the send button is enough to encourage someone and is a lose-lose for both.
That’s it … perhaps in a couple of weeks I will sign back on, but for now, I am resting!